A record of the development of the projects;
The first shoot I did with this project gave me a lot of disbelief, I felt very lost, I could not see where it was leading to, no one understood, apart from these top intellectuals across the internet. I kept creating work on my own in between painting and photographing objectivity, having realisations that my work was coming out negative, so in reality I had two images from one, some worked best negative and some worked best positive. The work quickly became a balance of lightness and darkness, the same ways great photographers and painters composed their work. William Eugene Smith once said “Never have I found the limits of the photographic potential, every horizon upon being breached reveals another beckoning in the distance.”
Smith was inspired by Rembrandt, and Caravaggio. Chiaroscuro, It refers to the use of light and shadow to create the illusion of light from a specific source shining on the figures and objects in the painting. Smith’s visual composition was a balance between lightness and darkness. He uses a language that is biblical, dark for the shadow of the valley of death, and light for salvation. After realising i must be getting onto something at a level these greats once got at… or get at all the time, I started researching religion and the connection to understanding parts of the mind, it seemed very important at the time, and well it was the most eye opening thing i’ve researched in my life to be honest. People out there have read and studied these religious texts and topics for their whole lives and everyone of them says these stories and experiences are metaphysical connotations that explain the mind, God is not and can not be proven scientifically, that is just wrong, people who think that and most people who think of god today are confronted by that very fact, its called the objectively illusion, there must be something objective shown to them to be proven. Forgetting the fact that we live almost entirely in the subjective, we recognise meanings rather than objects first of all when we interact with the world… With this work I have singled out an important moment in my life in which I had the realisation of it all at once, what the subjective is and the objective, my passions, which come through in photography and painting and exploring my mind and of others. I would talk about every shoot I did with this work but honestly I made them everyday, figuring out how to expose, where to put the film, what to capture, how to develop, how to actually get an image on them… I created everyday for a few months, having a few break in-between researching, photographing and painting, realising my life is quite chaotic, in the sense of information flying around, ideas being met and dismissed, I had to order my mind and my current work, a combination of painting, photography and theory. Knowing this will be hard, I wanted to set my self a challenge that goes completely against peoples perceptions and the rules, something that looks path the objectivity illusion and into the subjective reality that is just as important. This work is my transition into adulthood, it contains the moments of realisation of the world I live in, an enlightenment, a connection back to God, a connection back to myself. Most importantly I have found ways to communicate this to the rest of the world, by creating my own artistic idea, my own aesthetic, from completely my own image.